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Motivation is everywhere. So is context. We're just slow on the uptake.
So we search.
If we return to the Baldwin quote, “the purpose of art is to lay bare the questions hidden by the answers,” the search we conduct is not a pursuit of the answer, it’s a pursuit of the right question. Answers it turns out are merely questions in disguise.
It would be natural to stop when we reach an answer: the arrival feels like an ending. Even now as I write, they are fragments of Glück’s “motivating language” everywhere, but I am fumbling forward in that search for context.
Which path will lead me to where I want to go? The short answer: all of them. But the question I should be asking is, where do I want to go? And the answer, honestly, I don't know. What I have are stepping stones laid bare, but I can’t connect them, they don’t yet make a path. I don’t have the right questions yet. So I write.
Everything about this post, about this search changed. I just learned of Glück’s passing on October 13th. What now? Absorb. Reset. Search.
Start with questions.
Where do I want to go? Or, how do I want to get there? Or how will I know I’ve arrived? Or maybe first, how will I know I’m on the right path? What can I create right now? How can I capture this feeling, this moment, right now?
A start: I want surprise and hope. I want to create. I want to fire up Jack Gilbert's stubborn gladness and grind through the grime. One step at a time, feel my way through this moment, try not to rush, try to embrace this uncomfortable, stressful, frightening moment. And keep asking questions, knowing that context will come, eyes will adjust, the shape of this new world will develop from the darkness, silhouettes will emerge, words will begin to form, the language will materialize.
This search is not turning out the way I'd hoped.
Lots of fragments here. No real cohesion. I am banging my head against the wall trying to make sense of the words that are surfacing, but nothing is coming together. It's a bit of a mind f***: you can't see the connections, but you can feel them. It's light out, you can see your arms and hands outstretched before you, but you're feeling your way through this journey, like you're walking around in complete darkness.
Some days our search doesn't lead anywhere. Some days we're even more confused than when we started. But of course, we keep searching.