Why do we not paint each other in words?
Focus is love. If we feel disconnected, from a loved one, from a passion, from ourselves, focus is the salve.
But focus is hard to summon and cultivate and easily enamored.
To give someone our undivided attention: how hard is that? And how do we practice this act? How I wish we had a class somewhere in our education that taught us the skill of focus.
A friend once shared a quote (or an idea I'll say because I haven't been able to track down the source): to paint the portrait of a loved one in words is a fundamental celebration of focus and love.
To put the portrait into words is an essential act of translation: the words of the portrait create a shared space for the two of you to occupy, where the symbiotic aura of these particular words are understood intimately; where the words become more than words, and transmit the currency of love between each of you, partners in life.
Think of the person you love most in this world. What does their portrait look like in words?
What would they feel if you gave them this portrait? Why do we not paint each other in words more often?
Let's start today. First, we practice the art and skill of focus and picture them, give them our undivided attention and begin to translate them into words.
If we are forced to conjure our own particular image of them, if we imagine them in a daydream, their physical traits merge with personality traits and hopes and fears and quirks, creating a state of energy, constantly in motion, an aura, an essence, a collection of sensations that surrounds this person when we see them with undivided attention.
And maybe this is the key to this exercise, or actually the lock, and focus is the key. When we focus our undivided attention on someone, we are able to unlock and connect to the world that exists between us. We are able to feel more concretely how they make us feel. We are able to understand the weight of their presence in our lives and connect more directly to the sensations they arouse in us, simply by being who they are.
And more importantly, if we aren't with them physically, they'll understand, we will understand the permanency of the sensations they arouse in us, the lasting impact of their presence in our lives, because we've been able to summon and experience these feelings, simply by thinking about them, simply by giving them our undivided attention.